The Moon, the Sun, and the Flower
by The guy who never was
Summary: Saïx desired the Superior, saw him as heaven, but Xenmas had eyes only for the eleventh one. And so, Saïx finds himself kissing the Superior through the lips of the Graceful Assasin. Using him... as a stairway to heaven.


_**The Moon, the Sun, and the Flower.**_

_By The Guy Who Never Was_

Once upon a time, there was a moon, a sun, and a flower.

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Saïx had always looked up at Xenmas. He had loved him since the moment Xenmas had offered his hand when he was being bullied by everyone around him, all alone, and constantly being raped. The streets of _that_ fucked up world were never good, less to say to an underage blue-haired, alone and confused guy. And then there was the fact he was lacking _something_, though he didn´t quite knew what. He concluded when he took the hand offered The Superior was what he was lacking.

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One day, an eclipse occured. The moon and the sun met each other for the first time. They talked about many things; the sun was experienced while the moon was not. The short time they had together, was enough for the moon to fell in love with the sun.

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Saïx wanted to be close to him, but the Orgnization proved to be a hellhole. Specially for him; he was the first member to join it after the original six--a fact that made him innerly proud, in fact--, and if the neophytes are looked down even today, he, being the sole one at that time, was grounded. He didn´t knew the other members from before, he mostly saw them as demons making sure his stay in that hell was dreadful.

But even in hell, heaven could be found. That heaven looked down on the demons and him from his mighty throne that stood over them all. And that heaven was named, fittingly, the Superior.

And so, Saïx killed and bleed his way towards the Superior. Always offering to go on missions. Always alert to be helpful to the Superior. Always making his way to the gates of paradise.

And then one day he won the title of second-in-command. By that time other members had also joined. Those members were not demons to Saïx, but they were not angels either. They were simple _nobodies _to him. Except for two, one was a red-haired Nobody that he hated for reasons he did not understand at the time. The other one hadn´t joined when he won the title.

He enjoyed looking over all the other members at the second highest position, claiming his position as the Superor´s closest one. And one day he decided he would prove his position. It was a fairly common mission--not too big, not too small. He hurried to anhilate everything that stood on the way, and returned to The Castle That Never Was. As he stood in front of the main door, he raised his claymore, with a small smile on his face, and slashed through his face diagonally. The blood poured out fast, covered his face, and blurred his vision. And he was happy.

He crossed the doorway and went directly to the Superior´s throne, to the warm light that could heal all wounds, passing through the medical room. He reached it and found... no one was there. He walked slowly to the throne and rested what seemed an eternity for Xenmas to come back. But it was worth it, or so he thought.

The superior entered the room and without saying anything, not even looking at Saïx and sat on his throne. Saïx briefed Xenmas of his mission, and his "lack of concentration" that led to the blood that was giving his cloak a slight tone of crimson. He did his best not to fall down or lose consience. And so...

"I see. Do you know where the medications are?" Xenmas replied, uninterested. Unmoved. Uncaring. The warm light could burn you alive.

"Yes, sir!" He found himself saying. Saïx turned and left the chamber enraged. His life meant _nothing_ after all. He was nothing. He was... another demon to the eyes of heaven.

Saïx passed again through_ the room_, and shut the door behind him when he reached his room. The seventh member opened the curtains of his room. The moonlight. The full moon shone in with a beautiful luster. The whole castle seemed perfect. Everything looked perfect.

Everything in The World That Never Was was perfect.

Everything.

Everything...

Everything but him.

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The moon tried hard to reach the sun again, but the sun went too fast for it. The moon could only observe the sun as it faded away at the other side of the sky everyday.

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Saïx lost it and summoned his claymore. He broke the wide window of his room and swinged a few times more, as if trying to destroy the moon. Intending to make everything imperfect. Pretending that that way, hed be as good as everything and everyone else to the Superior´s--no, to heaven´s eyes.

If it was the streets that made him outwardly emotionless, then it was Xenmas what made him insane.

Saïx raised his claymore again. But this time he was not happy. And he made another red mark on his face, but it wasn´t a mark that would prove anyone´s love or lack of it. It was the mark that combined with the other mark, the failed mark, and made an "X". An X of Xenmas, but most of all, an "x" of rejection. Of failure. And he was in despair.

And his eyes closed.

And they opened.

And there _he_ was.

"You´re awake."

"Who are you?"

The stranger wore the garbs of the Organization XIII, but Saïx had never seen him before. His hair was long and pink, with an strange effect of layers. He was almost as expresionless as Saïx, but his voice definitely held a small sign of nervousness.

"Number eleven. Marluxia." The new member offered his hand to Saïx, who didn´t really give a fuck on him. Nor anyone. Nor anything. The only one he cared for didn´t care for. Saïx didnt give a fuck on his life.

He rejected the offered hand and gave a curt reply, "Number Seven. Saïx. Why am I still here?"

"I joined recently. Xenmas found me a couple of hours ago. I was passing through the corridors when I saw blood coming out of your room. I opened the door and found you dying. I turned around and a jerk of blonde hair told me to heal. You are basicly here because I was ordered. And because I have curative plants."

_"Who the fuck does he think he is to call the Superior by his name,"_ was the first thing that came to his mind. The second was that it was because of this neophyte that the Superior was away while he struggled to hold on his strenght. "Fuck off."

"Whatever," number eleven said. He shrugged and left the room, but before dissapearing from Saïx eyesight, he added, "us neophites should be united."

Saïx could feel the fury and hatred emerging. Not only had this new member called the Superior by his name, he had categorized him as neophite. He was, technically one, but he was not the same as the other neophites. Not of the original six either. He was special.

Or was he? He couldn´t help but to remember the loneliness of his moments prior to awakening to find some pink-haired punk taking care of him. Maybe he was nothing after all.

Evading those thoughts, the Luna Diviner rested his head and slept--all he could do to the current weakness of his body.

The voids in his memory were colossal between now and _then._ But all he could remember of the next weeks, apart from the routinary was talking with Marluxia and being teased by number eight.

And he didn´t really remember what he talked about with him. Maybe of flowers, maybe of darkness, maybe of hearts, maybe of other members. _Maybe._

The hours passed and formed days. The days passed and formed weeks. Time passed and passed, changed and morphed. But Saïx did not. He lived those days without living. Every instant fused together into one universal moment. Like he had been trapped in a void of time. It was always the same.

Get up. Wait. Be assigned to a mission. Do it. Return. Wait. Sleep.

And so he did. Without a reason or a purpose he did every day after the other. The days came to him, lived an instant, and died away. But always in the same way. Like the perfect pattern on his perfect room of this perfect castle that does or does not exist on this perfect planet. In which the perfect being resides. And where his imperfection once tried to coexist with it.

Get up. Wait. Be assigned to a mission. Do it. Return. Wait. Sleep.

Get up. Wait. Be assigned to a mission. Do it. Return. Wait. Sleep.

Get up. Wait. Be assigned to a mission. Do it. Return. Wait. Sleep.

Get up. Wait. Be assigned to a mission. Do it. Return. Wait. Sleep.Get up. Wait. Be assigned to a mission. Do it. Return. Wait. Sleep. Get up. Wait. Be assigned to a mission. Do it. Return. Wait. Sleep. Get up. Wait. Be assigned to a mission. Do it. Return. Wait. Sleep. Get up. Wait. Be assigned to a mission. Do it. Return. Wait. Sleep. Get up. Wait. Be assigned to a mission. Do it. Return. Wait. Sleep. Get up. Wait. Be assigned to a mission. Do it. Return. Wait. Sleep. Get up. Wait. Be assigned to a mission. Do it. Return. Wait. Sleep. Get up. Wait. Be assigned to a mission. Do it. Return. Wait. Sleep. Get up. Wait. Be assigned to a mission. Do it. Return. Wait. Sleep.

And so he spent a time he did not count and did not care about. And thus, his life lost all meaning. Heaven was as far away as possible.

But one day he saw something he should have not seen. It was the Superior. It was Marluxia. It was the loving part of heaven. The paradise he had been seeking for, as a thousand flowers of all colors in which a rose stood high and mighty at the center, with the warm light beaming down on it.

And Saïx could not take it. What did Marluxia have that he did not? His hair? He could paint it of the same color and have the same effect.

His face? Their faces held many similarities.

His number? 11 was the number that most resembled 1. But 7 was a lucky number! Did the Superior not like the number 17? Did he prefer the 111?

What?

...Why?

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The moon grew very tired of running to catch the sunshine, and therefore observed it. As the moon observed it, it discovered that on the land where they met for an untalked good-bye, a small sunflower grew, and it followed the sun as it gave its usual path. The sunflower saw the sun all day, and the sun saw the sunflower back. And the moon grew jealous.

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Saïx stormed out, not bothering to hide his prescence. Marluxia´s lips left Xenmas´s, and his body left the room afterwards. None of they said anything. Xenmas knew he could have him whenever he wanted.

Xenmas knew he could get anything anytime he wanted.

Marluxia opened the door, despite him believing Saïx would have locked himself. As he stepped inside he instantly got the frustration of the Luna Diviner over him.. "What do you want?"

"Nothing."

"Obviously. You won in..." Saïx still didn´t know how much time had passed since he met the Graceful Assasin, "...stantly what I had tried to obtain for years. There´s nothing left from me that you can take except for my life. And I got that for free. Now kill me or fuck off."

Saïx had been being crushed by everything. Most of all, keeping his feelings shut. And so, he had become gradually more insane, losing sense of time and his thoughts, of events. He was becoming increasingly erratic. And now he couldn´t keep those feelings from exploding out.

"In other words," Marluxia inquired, "all you want is the feel of Xenmas´s lips?"

"You could say it like that, if you want, bitch. Fucking bastard."

"Then have the body he´s had." Before Saïx could argue, the lips of the Graceful Assasin were on his.

Part of him wanted to strangle Marluxia, to tell him that he didn´t want to share _his_ Superior. But the rest of him knew Xenmas just had eyes for the eleventh one, it knew this was the closest thing he´d ever get to _touching_ the Superior. And so, Saïx found himself kissing the Superior through the lips of the Graceful Assasin.

He embraced the same body his Superior had, felt the tongue his Superior had felt. Took the clothes off and enjoyed the same joy his Superior had chosen over him.

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The moon decided to irradiate all its light over th sunflower as it passed. Partly to know what the sun felt like, partly to draw the flower´s attention from the sun. The flower did follow the beams of white light. They talked as the night lasted. The moon held more eprience now than when it met the sun, the flower did not. Eventually the flower fell in love with the moon.

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Many ways exist to describe what they did, but one does not: love.

Marluxia became Saïx´s delivery boy. Marluxia stayed with Xenmas so he could be with Saïx, who took Marluxia to feel Xenmas. They both knew no love was returned. It was a circle of demise, but it was _their perfect_ circle of demise. And they were happy.

Saïx ended up being the most fucked up, as always. Marluxia could hope that Saïx fell in love somewhere along the way. Xenmas already had what he wanted. But Saïx couldn´t get more than what he already had. He could only get the feel of Xenmas through the body of Marluxia.

Yet that was more that what he needed. If he could get a stairway to heaven, he did not care if it was whoever it or whatever it was. He´d take it and he´d take it gladly.

And the idea of a stairway made of flowers did appeal him in fact.

Sometimes, Marluxia would want to do something _different_ with him, and he did it without complains, yet devoid of feelings for whatever he did.

Be it watching those flowers Marluxia hid, playing a game such as poker, or simply going out, all Saïx cared about was his Superior.

Marluxia was not blind, of course. He knew what he was to number seven. He knew very well he was but a stairway, and thus didn´t push Saïx into doing stuff very often--he wasn´t an hypractive boy himself, as well. But if he could fake love between them even for a moment, it was worth it.

Everyone wants to feel loved, right?

It was almost like a routine, but it was different every time and it was perfect any way it was.

Until Xenmas broke the circle.

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The sun began to feel his _sun_flower preferred the light of the moon to that of his elderly, mighty one. The sun felt thretened, and devised a plan.

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Vexen asked him why he let a neophite take control over Castle Oblivion, to which he only answered with a "Don´t question my authority."

Indeed, he asked himself why he had done it. His most definite resolution was, _"to see him broken. To see it broken. To see us broken."_

Marluxia didn´t complain at all. It was time he would prove his position. He plotted with Larxene, the member that joined soon after him, to overthrow Xenmas.

He would finally prove he was worth on his own. Finally be able to feel Saïx without feeling he is feeling the feel of Xenmas that is impregnated over him. Finally the time to cast the shadow aside and shine with own bright. No more bridge. He´d be heaven. A heaven that does not look at the demons, a heaven whose eyes are fixed at the moon.

He also had plans for the Organization itself. Unlike Xenmas, who was planning to let them all die while he robbed Kingdom Hearts.

The future seemed bright and nothing could go wrong.

And then Marluxia died.

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While the moon was talking with the flower, the sun came in. It gathered it´s strength and wisdom and shone too bright, so that the flower would burn. When the moon was able to see again, all it could see was the ashes of the flower scattering through the land.

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And now Saïx is trashing his room, destroying everything he can see.

He knows something is missing.

He misses the lips he could kiss. He misses the hair he could touch. He misses the body he could embrace. He misses the ears that would hear him and the voice that would answer. He misses the skin he could feel.

And most of all, he misses the words "I love you."

Saïx misses Marluxia.

The moon misses the flower.

**The End**

Well wasn´t that dark. I feel sorry for both Saïx and Marluxia. Now go! Go and spread the word and the Marluxia-Saïx pairing! But leave a review first. And before I forget, I don´t own Kingdom Hearts.


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